The Sunday Currently
Reading Star Maker by Olaf Stapledon. I’m only on the first chapter and I am already hooked in; I can tell I’ll be devouring the entire thing today. I’m already excited to write about it when I’m finished because I can feel I’m going to love it. Do you ever get that feeling? When you’re starting on a new piece of literature and you just know you’ll love it, even though you haven’t finished it yet? That’s how I feel right now. Pretty crazy.
Writing in my journal again. Also rewriting and editing some of my staffers’ works—one of my many duties as editor now. It still hasn’t sunk in yet, but I hope I get used to this. Or not. I still feel jittery and excited! Leaning more towards the jitters though :<
Listening to Half Life by Imogen Heap. One of my favorites, a default piece that I replay over and over again on quiet afternoons like this.
Thinking about my future. I am so full of fear–fear of the future, fear of uncertainties, fear of life itself. I hate being neurotic and self-obsessed (something I got from my mother)
Hoping for a silver lining to get myself moving, even though I know for myself I shouldn’t have to wait for anything to start doing something.
Wanting to be away from everybody and everything. I’ll be having a 3 day team building activity this week and I’ve shut myself in avoiding all people, mentally preparing myself for the extended social interactions. so help me, universe. I am already dreading it. Wanting to start my novel as well, but can’t get myself to pick up my pen.
Feeling lost and stuck. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with my life, and I’m already putting too much pressure on myself as I am. I think it’s my mentality I need to change, but I also know I am stubborn.
Overall, I feel pretty disappointed in myself right now. Perhaps the next few days will be better. I keep reminding myself to take it easy. I still have one week left of uni break, and I need to breathe. I should take it easy.